It's so difficult

It really is.

You're young and people will tell you that you are crazy, that you needn't feel like that, that you still have a lot to live and see. And possibily -let's hope it- they're right. But it's difficult anyway.

You live in a small town, it isn't a crowded place. It isn't your fault anyway! And you even like living there, but for this issue, it's difficult.

You feel it's always the same old thing. And in fact it is. It seems one has to be perfect. It seems 60 kilometres is a great distance to these who live in that big city. Or even closer. Or further, because if they're from the other big city, they probably won't know where your town is. And for the rest of the things they want, the answer is also no. You don't have a six pack.

You don't want what most of them want. That would probably be the easy way, but you haven't been lucky if you have tried it some time.

You feel different from them. And you really are, or at least it seems you are. Your behaviour is different. You don't look like one, and you don't like it. You have different hobbies. You rarely have something in common. In addition, you also find lots of them who will discriminate you because of your mother tongue. It seems you can't speak your own language in your own country. And if they know your political ideology, then run away! Definetely you are different.

You try it. You have hope. But hey, it doesn't change. It remains the same. That's what is frustrating. There isn't any little change. Isn't there anybody different, like you? It seems not, but no, there must be...But where? You don't know. That's why it is so difficult.

You're hidden. It's not a bad thing, it's just the way you want to do it. And it's not because of this that it's difficult. It may help, but really, it's not because of this.

I feel like this. And it's so difficult.